I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
