I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
