Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
high people should be assigned attendants
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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