It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize