Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
