On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize