You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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