But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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