Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
that is very illegal...i love you.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
