Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
