rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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