i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
