Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
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the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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