Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
