obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
