i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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