I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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