I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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