I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
