He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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