How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
