How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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