absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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