he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
