he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
