walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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