so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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