Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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