Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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