I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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