Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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