Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
