when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize