my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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