I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
