Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
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Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
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You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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