if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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