quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
