You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I looked at my own cervix.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
