Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
