someone threw a dead crab at me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
