All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
