Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
