I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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