is wine microwaveable?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
