some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
