Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
