to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
