My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize