No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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