they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
As shirtless as possible
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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