I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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