i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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