Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
