if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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