I think my vagina is haunted
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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